Frustration and Setbacks

After 6+ months of prayers and talks,  we felt is was time to officially move forward.  We talked to our agency and decided to take the plunge.  We got our application to fill out and submit this week.   Then...  setbacks.

We have discovered quite a bit of damage from some critter(s) to our house siding.  Many, many holes,  weakening the wood siding all over our house walls and definitely a problem that will need to be fixed asap.   Unfortunately,  it appears that the repairs,  along with the window repairs we are finding ourselves making (due to mold and rot), will wipe out our meager adoption budget. We are very grateful to discover this now,  instead of the middle of our adoption process,   but still very frustrating.

Still,  we know God is in control and can work out the impossible.   We will continue to pray and look for ways to move forward as the Lord allows us.

Thoughts on Winnie

Winnie -- a 23 month old toddler living in China in an orphanage.   My oldest daughter and I had looked at her picture and video on 2 different adoption sites for special needs children over the past few weeks.   She had a cleft-lip repair and was reported to have a "mild" heart condition.  She was a beautiful little girl with jet black hair and round cheeks.  The surgical scars on her lip just added to her character. 

In the videos,   Winnie just sits quietly,  looking at toys,  not really playing.   Her eyes never made contact with anyone.  Not even once.  It broke our hearts to see such a sad, sad little baby.   "We should adopt her, Mama,"  I was told.    I thought, "Maybe we could".  Maybe, once we got a bit farther along with our homestudy,  she could be our daughter.

Yesterday,  I noticed she was gone from the site.  Encouraged that possibly someone else could get to her sooner,  I asked the advocate leader if she was officially claimed.   Today I got my response.  Winnie had died.  

Was her "mild heart condition" not so mild?    Could she have been saved with better medical care and love?   Would she have died no matter what?  I don't have any answers for that. Her picture is gone off the site,  nothing to remember her by.  

I am not sure what to even write at this point.  Except that I'm sure it happens more than we realize.  The reality of how vulnerable orphans are really hit home today.  

Rest in peace, sweet girl.

The Journey Continues... SLOWLY.

As we continue looking into programs, agencies, and countries,  one thing is becoming crystal clear:   This is going to be a LONG and slow journey.    The paperwork alone makes me want to surrender. 

In order not to become completely overwhelmed by this process, we have decided to slow down and scale back.   So,  for now,  we have just decided to pursue the "small things" that need to be taken care of no matter where we decide to adopt.   This includes renewing passports,  getting certified copies of birth certificates,  required classes, etc....

We *think* we have narrowed down our country to China.   China was appealing to us for many reasons.  One of the biggest factors was that only 1 trip was needed and only 1 parent needs to go.   (While we both would like to go to meet our new child,  it is nice knowing that one of us can stay home if we have to.)    China also has one of the biggest special needs adoption programs that we have found so far,  so there is no shortage of children to pick from.  Some of the other countries that we looked at had much fewer children available and many of their special needs were much more severe than what we are comfortable handling.

We also think we have narrowed down our agency to WACAP.   It is one of the few agencies that we looked at that has an established track record of special needs adoption in China which was also available to do homestudies in Wisconsin.  They really advocate for special needs children and really try to get these kiddos matched to families.

So,  that concludes the updates for now.  We are hoping,  come summer,  we are able to take the plunge and start on a homestudy.

What Kind of Child are We Adopting?

This is the most frequent question we have been asked thus far.   The truth is,  we don't know.   We have talked to a local social worker and determined that we are not good candidates for domestic foster adoption programs at this point in our lives. (We have small children in the house and it did not seem like a good fit for us).    We are limited in our resources and vacations to be out of the country for extended periods of time,  so that eliminated MANY countries off our list.

We plan to pick a country with an established adoption program and with limited travel out of the country.  Right now,  we are leaning towards Asia,  as they have many countries at fall into this category.  However,  Russia is also an option, because of the many sibling groups that are available. 

While we are hoping for another girl (or two),  the reality is that approximately 70% of the orphans available for adoption are boys.  As for the ages we are looking at,  we are leaning towards 2-4 years old. As for the type of special need(s) we are looking at,  we are trying to be open to anything that would be a good fit for our family.   While we are unable to take on a severely disabled child at this point in our lives,  we have an amazing healthcare system in our backyard that we plan to utilize.

Right now,  we are just gathering up paperwork,  talking with different agencies, and trying to pick a country to do a homestudy for.   Since we are in no particular rush,  we will just continue to wait on God for His perfect timing for us.

As always,  tips and comments are welcome.  Prayers are especially coveted.

Why We are Adopting

It is official:  We are pursuing an international adoption of a special needs child.

Two of the questions we have been getting asked are:  "Why would you adopt?  And why would you want a special needs child? You already have 2  healthy, biological children."   I thought these were reasonable and valid questions to address.

We have been very blessed to have two wonderful, entertaining children,  but at the same time we have wondered if there was someone else "missing from the party".  As Christians,  we are called to serve the widows, orphans, and impoverished of the world.  While not everyone is called to adopt,  we believe it is something that God is leading us to do at this point in our lives.    

The numbers of orphans and abandoned children around the world is a staggering statistic.  Different groups estimate the number of orphans at approximately 15-100 million, depending on ways "orphan" is defined and who is doing the defining.  (To put it into perspective,  New York City has a population of about 19-20 million people).

While we cannot save every child, we are going to try for at least one.  And hopefully,  encourage those of you who are considering adoption to do the same.  (If we can do it,  anyone can!)

After a lot of time, prayer, and discussions,  we have decided this is the right time to pursue special needs adoption.   Why "special needs"?   Well,  for a lot of reasons.

1. We have no interest in having another infant again.   We are open to an older child,  with any luck,  one that is maybe even potty-trained.  Children who are over the age of 2-3 years old are considered "special needs" in some programs.
2. We have a heart for the children that no one else wants. While we are unable to take in a severely disabled child, taking a child with minor, correctable disabilities,  such as cleft lip,  club feet, crossed eyes,  albinism, or mild cerebral palsy seems like a reasonable thing to consider.
3. We are open to adopting a sibling group.  Sibling groups are often considered "special needs" children in many programs.
4. We may be able to "pick our child" off a waiting child list.  If approved,  we would be able to adopt that child.  The idea of picking our child is appealing in a lot of ways.
5. Waiting child/special needs adoptions can move faster than standard adoptions, many times.    
6. One of our daughters would be considered "special needs" if she were in an orphanage because of her heart condition.  Yet,  she has been able to live a very "normal" life.  It breaks my heart to think of the children out there that will never be given a chance at "normal" because of their age or health.

 So,  we welcome your encouragement, tips, and most importantly, prayers as we continue on this journey.  We aren't sure of all the details at this point, but we know that God is in charge.